Do Not Trust Your Boots this Winter: a breakdown of boot slippin' data

You guys, they tested our Winter boots and our Winter boots have been found lacking...
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There's a lot of numbers and sciency things in the report, so let me break it down for you: we're all wearing super slider snow slippers. I mean, some of the boots had better numbers than others, and tbh I kind of glazed over after the first paragraph, but my takeaway is: trust no one and trust no boot. 
trust no one (gif version)

Final thoughts:
You might as well get the sexiest boots you can find within your budget, because if you're wearing them for anything other than Wintertime Sex Appeal, you might be very disappointed. I mean, you might also be disappointed if you're just buying them for Wintertime Sex Appeal... but that's a DIFFERENT KIND of disappointment... and maybe that one is a little bit more on you than the boot manufacturer.
Suggestion: Ask a trusted friend before ♪taking it on down to Boot Town© for some footwear to feature in your Tinder profile.


Got Boots? Let us know in the comments.