Weekend Review and Podcast Sat March 14 2020: Stressed Out? Go Out, Coronavirus Saving Relationships, Wine from the kitchen tap! #wine #coronavirus #love #stress #health #WorldCheeseChampionships #TMDPodcast #ScottyandTony #WeekendReview

Our podcast stream:


#HealthTip Attention Stressed-Out People Attention All of Us: Do this easy 10 minute Stress Hack...
According to a New Study that was aimed at University kids who are stressed about exams, going outside for 10 minutes will help your nerves.
- 10 to 50 minutes of nature improves your mood, focus, blood pressure, and heart rate!
- study group was age 15 to 30
- future note to scotty's kids: while you're out there, why not mow the lawn?

Sure, I COULD go outside, but what about my studies, fellas?
If you're still not sure if you should leave the dorm, here are some Signs That a You Should Go Outside:
3) You forget which one is the sun and which one is the moon
2) You think 'fresh air' and 'weed' are the same smell
1) All your news-from-the-outside comes via the pizza delivery driver.
👍Good luck with exams to our kids!

But Also:
Not a University Student? We're not doctors, but it seems like this 'going outside to lower your stress' would be good for all of us... unless everyone in your neighbourhood has coronavirus and they're wandering the street... doing spit takes. In that case, stay inside.
If you're not sure WHAT TO DO after you've gone outside, here are some ideas:
When you search 'top things to do outdoors?' you end up with, like, 'horseback riding', and having a 'picnic'. If those are too robust, perhaps you could start with hanging around in front of the drug store, or hitchhiking. Also, Tony likes to golf.
2😷 Coronavirus is the ultimate cooler:
The New York Times says that coronavirus fears are making swinging singles less swingy (© Scotty and Tony inc.)
People are like, "I don't even want to shake hands with a stranger, so why would I want to Flip Flop Flippity Do (©Scotty and Tony inc) with someone I just met?"
🤔I HAVE A THEORY that this could be a good thing...
if you're IN a relationship and your better half was thinking about breaking up, now that they know the coronavirus is out there, they might give the relationship another try! So don't mess this up, Paul someone who we know.

"Coronavirus convinced me to give it another try, Happy Anniversary!" - Hallmark.

Note for (single guy we know whose name we won't say again for fear of legal action):
If coronavirus is affecting the dating scene, and people are holding off on breaking up because, "At least you don't have coronavirus, I might as well give this another chance..." you might be able to rekindle the romance before you get dumped! A New Lease on Love!

💟Scotty and Tony's 2-Step Guide to Second Chance Seduction:
*Step 1) Figure out what it is about YOU that makes HER so annoyed. Ask your friends.
Sample Question: "Hey, my friends, what is wrong with me?"
They will tell you. They may be so truthful that there is punching and kicking. Make sure to take careful notes.
*Step 2) Change those annoying things about yourself!
Here are some real-life examples:
😞Problem: Everyone thinks you smell like skunkweed.
😃Solution: wash your hoodie once in awhile.
😞Problem: Your stories are long and boring.
😃Solution: Hire a writer from the Royal Canadian Air Farce to punch up those anecdotes! "Then the Prime Minister showed up wearing a toga..." (©2020 Royal Canadian Air Farce).
😞Problem: You're out of shape and you kind of let yourself go.
😃Solution: Buy some ManSpanx and squeeze into them! Also, change the light bulbs in your house so you're in more favourable lighting. Or complete darkness.
😞Problem: Your whole personality.
😃Solution: Go to one of those expensive retreats where they give you the zombie juice and you wake up with a brand new personality! $$
③🍷Mama Mia needs her wine:
The other day, people in this Italian village had wine flowing out of their taps. There was a malfunction at the winery and wine leaked into the town water supply. It was a sparkling red. 
↑the winery Facebook issued an apology

Some villagers bottled as much wine as they could. Probably filled the bathtub and all that...
-I think that if I turned on the tap and wine came out, I might convince myself that it was a sign to start drinking again.
-How come Italy gets wine, and all we get in our pipes is lousy lead?
-Remember the time we proposed hot and cold running maple syrup? Where are we on that one?

 This Week in Cheese!
At this year's World Cheese Championships, Swiss Gruyere has been named the best cheese in the world. It's a good fondue cheese.
There were 26 countries and 3600 cheeses in the competition!
❓What do you think is the hardest part of the job when you're a cheese judge at the World's?
Probably it's when you forget your cheese handling gloves and you touch all that cheese with your bare hand, and then you smell like cheese all day, and your relationship crumbles under the weight of a smelly Limburger.
"Karen, please come back. I know I stink, but tomorrow we're judging the Smoky Maple Gouda!"

BTW, you can get your Level One Cheese Associate certification online! That's through the Academy of Cheese dot org. No joke.
Some of the things you'll be learning when you sign up online:
Presenting and serving, Communicating about cheese, Cheese Industry Knowledge, Best Practices, Tasting, and Iconic Cheeses.
It's $235.00 though. Plus, you have to buy a bunch of cheese.
Seems like there's good money in cheese correspondence courses...
❓Should we open our own Cheese Academy? Scotty and Tony's College of Cheese? Or Cheese-a-versity?
Our syllabus is a little more pedestrian: Cheezies (crunchy and airy), Macaroni and Cheese Powders of the World, grilled cheese sandwiches (stove top and oven).

🗱I'm picturing the Academy of Cheese like it's Hogwarts from Harry Potter, except the only spells the wizards can do involve cheese. Everyone's trying to conjure a fondue. I'd watch that movie.

 Happy Pi Day!
Pi Day makes us think about math, numbers, and ratios!
Just kidding, Pi Day makes us want to eat delicious pies.
 Mmmmmmm pies!
🤠Every Link We Own🤠©Scotty and Tony on Stingray Radio