Valentines Day 2020 Podcast: Special Report #Love #OtherEmotions #Valentine #Cupid #Chocolate #Romance #TMD #Podcast #ScottyandTony

Our podcast stream:

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ICYMI, There's been a ton of Love in the news. Here is our Valentines Redux:

→♥ Zoo will name a Rat in your Ex's honor
Here is a fundraiser idea for Magnetic Hill Zoo to steal:
The San Antonio Zoo does this Valentines fundraiser where they'll name a rat  after your ex, then feed it to a snake, and you can watch via live stream.
You can also name a cockroach after your ex.
Roaches are $5 and rats are $25.
Buy your roach or rat HERE.
Watch the Zoo's Twitch Stream HERE.
?Question: Should our Zoo do this? Also, when that happens, what will be your rat's name? Mine will be named Karen.
?Followup Question: Is that good therapy?
According to Psychology Today, the urge for revenge is strong, but revenge doesn't make you feel better.
 click for insta


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→♥ Quit Calling 911 for dates, OK? #Valentines Special Report
A guy in Wisconsin got arrested last week for calling 911 to get a date. He's the same guy who called 911 because he wanted a lady removed from his bed for snoring too loudly. That happened a few years ago.

https://scottyhorsman.tumblr.com/post/190631595832/if-youre-lucky-enough-to-find-your-perfect-cosmic

Direct Link HERE

The Takeaway:
Look, Valentines season is hard. Sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there. Don't call 911 though. And if you're lucky enough to find your perfect Cosmic Soulmate, don't try to have them arrested for snoring.
Good luck out there, loving lovers.
BTW, HERE are the best opening lines to use on dating apps.

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→♥ Tinder Saves Lives!
This lady...
got her vehicle stuck on the icy roads of Norway. A tow truck wasn't gonna be able to get to her for a long time and she was worried that other vehicles would crash into her on the icy road... so she asked for help on Tinder. Five minutes later this guy...
showed up with a front end loader to rescue her.

Hurray, everyone was saved!!
But what of their current romantic status? Unknown :(
Question: would a TV show featuring Tinder and Dozers be the greatest TV show of all time, or just the greatest show of the last 50 years? Is there even a way to improve the Tinder Dozer Love Show? Maybe not.
#DozerLove #Frozen3withDozers #MoveOverBachelor
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→♥ Make Babies, Get Free Hotel #ValentinesSpecial
Here's a chance to make beautiful Valentine's babies and get a free night at a BC hotel.
It's simple:
1) stay at the hotel
2) make a baby at that hotel
3) prove it
4) your stay is free
Notes:
-if you already have other plans, you can get a four hour stay at the hotel for $45, leaving time for dinner or dancing, then a cab ride home.
-you actually get 18 free stays, for the next 18 Valentine's Days.
Here's what the place looks like...
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→♥ How to Save Your Relationship (if it's not too late)
Pamela Anderson was married to producer Jon Peters for 12 days before they decided to call it. "We would be very grateful for your support as we take some time apart to re-evaluate what we want from life and from one another."

My advice to any young people who ask about marriage is:
marriage is hard, and you've got to work at it... but if it's not working out after a minimum of 12 days, it's OK to call it quits and move on. You deserve to be happy. Here's a Wikihow article on How to Save Your Marriage.
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→♥ What do men and women want for Valentines Day?
The latest DATA says that ladies want chocolate for Valentines Day, and guys want happy happy fun times for Valentines Day.
*Here's the Top Five Lady Gifts:
1) Chocolate or Candy
2) Card
3) Flowers
4) Jewellery
5) Spa Day
*Here's the Top Five Man Gifts:
1) Shimmy Shammy
2) Card
3) Chocolate
4) Booze
5) Electronics
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→♥ I Love You to the Moon
This 44-year-old billionaire in Japan is looking for love. The successful applicant will be chosen to go on a date to the moon. Serious. He took Applications.
The whole thing is supposed to end up on TV.

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→♥ The Cancel Valentines Movement:
According to Plenty of Fish, 20% of single people want to cancel Valentines Day.
*Fast Fact: If you're single, the pressure of finding someone to be your special love for Valentines Day can be tough.
*Additional Fact: Valentines Day can also be awful for people in a relationship.
There are soooo many ways you can screw it up. Here are a few scenarios to avoid...
❤️Scenario 1: you go with a funny gift, and your special someone gets you a serious gift. "Thanks for the beautiful watch. I'm sorry I got you a bobblehead of my likeness." Look, Doctor Funnybone, you need to resist the urge to be hilarious.
❤️Scenario 2: you're waaaay too serious and your special someone is like "We've only been dating for 48 hours... why would you buy us matching cemetery plots?" Before buying His and Her headstones, run it by a couple of your friends to see what they think.
❤️Scenario 3: Maybe you realize that you haven't been paying attention to your special someone and you don't have a clue about their likes, dislikes, and what makes them tick. "We've been together 10 years... why would you buy me an industrial-size box of gluten? Also, you spelled my name wrong on the card."
Before you find yourself in this situation, have your significant other fill out a questionnaire, or hire a private investigator to learn a few things about them.
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➤?Question: Where did you buy this year's heart shaped box of chocolates?
1) Drug Store
2) Grocery Store
3) Gas Station
4) Stolen from Reception Area at work √ (what, is it just us?)
💗Survey: Top Valentines candy given to sweethearts yesterday was Heart-Shape Box O' Chocolates. Conversation Hearts were the next most popular.
BTW, this year there was a busted printer at the Conversation Hearts Factory so a lot of them came out blank.

This is research done by the Love Scientists at CandyStore.com and reflects American tastes.
Here's a Candy Map of the USA...

*The only data we could find for Canada seems to indicate that everyone's having delicious Kraft Dinner tonight...

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?Question: are you terrible at dates?
Some people on Twitter have had wonderful dates and you should steal their idea. The hashtag #BestDateIn4Words is trending on Twitter.
CLICK HERE to read the list but headsup! some entries are gonna be PG13.
Some of the examples are kinda high-falutin:
--Sushi. TV. Couch. Snuggles
--Marrying my best friend
--Let's go to Paris
😕
Let's be real, if we had a hashtag trending on Twitter it wouldn't be BEST anything. Maybe #WorstDateIn4Words...
--Sushi.ptomaine.fever.bucket
--Divorcing.My.Best.Friend
--Let's.Go.To.Mom's
#Accurate

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The TMD Podcast with Scotty and Tony wherever fine podcasts are streamed!


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