Saturday Shenanigans March 23 2019 #Thankyounotes #MoonRocks #Meteors #Coffee #HauntedToiletSeat #DadJokes #Bacon

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>Thank You Notes from Jimmy...


>This Week in Meteors... one of the biggest meteor explosions in modern history was discovered this week... but it happened LAST YEAR? What the hey, scientists!? I thought I could leave this to you, but obviously you can't be trusted with protecting us from meteors... also, where are the jet packs we were promised? #LetDown

>This Week in Moon Rocks... NASA has announced that it's time to unseal the secret moon rocks that they had set aside until we had the technology to really study them super good... they were packed away for 50 years because some smart person was like "Hey everybody, maybe in the future we'll have laser eyes that'll be able to see right through these moonrocks and turn them into superfuel... we should set some aside... Bernie, are you eating that moon rock? We need to save some!"
BTW, we think after 50 years they prolly smell bad...

>This Week in Coffee... there's a fast food chain in the States (it's one you know but I'm not sure I should say because I don't know how our local franchisees would feel...) They are becoming the Netflix of Coffee... you pay $5 a month and you can drink unlimited coffee... so even if the coffee is terrible... we would do that... we are bigger cheapskates than we are coffee snobs... it's like going to the buffet... even if the food is just OK you keep going back to the buffet because every trip is adding value... muscle through those egg rolls... MUSCLE THROUGH!
BTW, alright, alright... it's Burger King.

>This Week in Haunted Furniture... If it was a good enough bargain I would buy a haunted drawer... maybe a haunted coat rack... but here is a list of haunted items that I would never buy...
-Haunted Toilet Seat (signs include: extreme cold)
-Haunted Shower Curtain (signs include: Vim Cleanser can't get rid of stubborn mildew)
-Haunted Microwave (signs include: eggsplosion)
-Haunted Office Chair  (signs include: odd noise, embarrassment)

>This Week in Bacon...

>This Week in Dad Jokes...
My email got hacked... so if you get an email from me about meat in a can just ignore it... it’s spam.

>This Week in Budget Stuff...
#TearOffYourFrontLicensePlate #ReportCards

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