The Laziest Guide to Burning Calories 2019©

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If you're lazy (lookin' at you, Horsman) but you want to burn calories because your dietician is all like "Alarmingly high test results!" and "At first I thought my equipment was faulty..." then here is a list of lazy ways to burn some calories from BI...

-Walk... Look, I get it... walking is for chumps... you could press a button and have that 10 piece nuggets meal delivered to your Lazy Boy... but you really need to walk sometimes... even a Lazy Walk© can burn 200 calories an hour...

-Bowl... some of us will work up a sweat just trying to get into those bowling shoes... that's what we call Bonus Burn©... bowling for an hour is supposed to burn around 200 calories...

-Bike... an easy bike ride (under 15 KMH) burns almost 300 calories in an hour... imagine how many more calories you'd burn if you kicked and flailed randomly! *consult your bicycling expert before starting a cycle-flailing regimen...

-Golf... an hour of golfing burns 300 calories... and that's BEFORE all the swearing...

-Ski/Snowboard... a nice easy ski burns 300 calories/ hour... (*slightly more if you walk up the hill instead of waiting for the ski lift)...

-Skating... or as our American friends call it "Ice Skating"... burns over 500 calories an hour...

Here are a few more that didn't make the official list...

-Nervously pacing around the office on Employee Evaluation Day: 200 calories/hour

-Shaking fist at the sky whenever someone at work takes the last sour cream donut, leaving only 6 other kinds of donuts to choose from: 20 calories

-Struggling to put on a pair of pants that used to fit you 5 years ago: 40 calories

-going into the coffee place instead of driving thru (because your driver's side window is frozen shut) 15 calories!

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