Junk Week Sword Fight: Don't let this happen, Dieppe and Riverview!

ICYMI: it's Junk Week Season for Dieppe and Riverview.
This is a cautionary tale:
Two guys in Florida got in the news the other day for having a Junk Week Sword Fight©. The details:
-there was a cart full of junk
-2 guys wanted the cart
-they argued over it, then one guy went and got a sword and the guy without a sword backed off
-in an exciting twist, a third person showed up -the person who actually owned the cart- and they took the cart home
-nobody got hurt and the sword guy got arrested


Here's a limerick:
A guy named Gord who had a sword, and wanted someone's junk,
Got super high, attacked a guy,
The other guy was drunk.

Junk Week Sword Fight song (to the tune of Carefree Highway by G. Lightfoot)
"Junk Week Sword Fight, lets me slip away, slip away from you"♪

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